Yesterday's News Tomorrow

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE

Square Utd 1-5 Borora Jnrs U13s NECSL Division 2

Such is the competitiveness in U13s soccer these days, that teams will resort to anything to gain an advantage. Take Square Utd and their devious tactic of playing on three different pitches within Ardee and leaving you to guess which one it is. Get it wrong and you'll turn up five minutes before kickoff totally unprepared. Of course, a more organised coach may have rung ahead but let's not split hairs.

Once the game finally began, Borora Jnrs were quickly into their stride, which was surprising given that half of the squad had been up until 3.45am the night before at an away day at Carlingford Adventure Centre.

Centre-forward James McCabe was first on the score sheet in the opening minutes, rifling home an effort from inside the box. The nerves were further settled when McCabe was upended in the box and then calmy slotted the resultant penalty.

Wrong end

Henry Pratt made two clearances off the line to make sure it remained 2-0. The only problem was that the 'clearances' were at the wrong end, denying Borora another couple of goals.

The defence, led by Sean Gaynor and Jayden Sherlock, was looking solid while the midfield trio of skipper Fionn Nulty, Dan White and Oisin Campbell were controlling things in the middle of the park.

A third goal always looked likely but was slightly lucky when it did come. The forward trio of Logan Wilson, Danny Gorman and McCabe made the opening and the shot was saved, bounced off a defender and then whacked off the hapless keeper's face into the net. Ouch.

Like a couple of dinner guests that overstay their welcome, help themselves to drinks and stick the golf on the telly, the visitors were fully in control.

Louis Redmond came on at right back and linked up excellently with his midfielders.

Daniel O'Sullivan came on at centre back and was his usual uncompromising self. And Oran McKenna moved into midfield and a bit more positional freedom

Toaster

By now Henry Pratt had worked out which way he was meant to be facing and was taking on the opposition. But it was fellow winger Gorman and a left foot more reliable than *a toaster that scored next. (*I asked Henry for an example of something reliable. He said 'toaster').

More goals should have followed in the second half but, like 12 year olds given a plate full of vegetables, Borora failed to finish.

In the meantime, the midfield trio of Dan White, Oisin Campbell and skipper Fionn Nulty worked tirelessly to keep Borora on the front foot.

The fifth goal duly arrived when McKenna swept home a well-worked goal, even though it did look at first as if it was going wide. As McKenna's hands reached up to his face in embarrassment, the sound of the ball hitting the net turned despair into a slightly awkward goal celebration. Don't worry Oran. No-one noticed.

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By now Aaron Rothwell had been allowed out of goal with McCabe taking over between the sticks and making a fine fingertipped save. But there was nothing he could do when, in the dying moments, Square Utd scored a deserved consolation to make the final score 5-1 to Borora.

So what did we learn? There were some excellent performances all round, especially man of the match Sean Gaynor at centre back and Louis Redmond at right back who would have been a contender for man of the match himself if he hadn't already been awarded trainer of the day on Thursday. The lesson there is don't try too hard at training.

We also learned that Aaron Rothwell cannot read a map, especially when he's being barracked by a panicked and sleep-deprived 49 year-old driver.

And when O'Sullivan and their big player with the mullet who could shift a bit are on a collision course for a 50/50 ball, it's best to look away.

But the biggest takeaway from the day was that if you want your strikers to perform, keep them up all night on a diet of sugary energy drinks, Haribo and SnapChat.

Team: Aaron Rothwell, Oran McKenna, Jayden Sherlock, Fionn Nulty, Louis Redmond, Daniel White, James McCabe, Danny Gorman, Henry Pratt, Sean Gaynor, Logan Wilson, Oisin Campbell, Daniel O'Sullivan

Goals: McCabe (2), OG, Gorman, McKenna

Man of the match: Sean Gaynor

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